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Laugh Lines

May 07, 1999

On the Docket: The Supreme Court will decide the definition of disabled. The issues include such questions as can an overeater or a sex addict be classified as disabled? "Currently, they're classified as president." (Argus Hamilton)

Premium Plus: Aetna has announced plans for bare-bones medical insurance that most Americans can afford. "The program has reduced benefits, but as long as you don't get sick, you're covered." (Ira Lawson)

May the Work Force Be With You: More than 2 million workers might take May 19 off to see the new "Star Wars" movie. "I've heard of playing hooky, but playing Wookie?" (Daily Scoop)

Sound Familiar? Thursday was officially No-Diet Day. "Don't we already have that? It's called the third day of any diet. 'That's it, I'm outta here!' " (Jay Leno)


Tom Singer's Essential List of the Day

Top slogans for the new cereal from baseball's Albert Belle:

* They're g-r-r-rouchy!

* Got sour milk?

* There's two scoops of sour grapes in every bowl.

* They make great Halloween treats.

* No crackle or pop, just snap!

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