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Laugh Lines

May 10, 1999

More Misery: Refugees from Kosovo are being housed in military quarters in New Jersey. "Why New Jersey? Haven't these poor people suffered enough?" (Jay Leno)

Business Beat: It looks like clear sailing for AT&T in its attempt to buy cabler MediaOne. "Thankfully, the company's forced breakup a few years ago has prevented it from becoming a huge communications monopoly." (Ira Lawson)

Business Beat II: GM admitted that Cadillac sales figures were misstated and that the model wasn't America's bestselling luxury car. "Apparently Joe Isuzu has switched car companies." (Daily Scoop)


The Essential

David Letterman

"Star Wars" fans' complaints about the new movie:

10. Lame scene where Ewoks are freed from captivity by the Rev. Jesse Jackson.

9. R2-D2 sexier with the implants in.

7. You never find out what the matrix is.

5. Scene where Millennium Falcon hits an iceberg feels tacked on.

3. Somebody forgot to cut price tags off Wookie costumes.

1. Media are virtually ignoring its release.


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