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Laugh Lines

May 12, 1999

Hold Your Fire: NATO jets accidentally bombed the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade. "Before that, cluster bombs hit a hospital and a market, plus earlier this week, a bus. Good move, but you missed the orphanage full of nuns and kittens." (Colin Quinn)

Hold Your Fire II: Angry Chinese are protesting the bombing of their embassy. "Of course the Chinese are angry. They paid good money for this administration." (Daily Scoop)

Say What?: Last week in Germany, President Clinton gave a speech explaining his Yugoslavia policy. "Now if we could just get him to explain it to us!" (Jay Leno)


The Essential

David Letterman

The top pickup lines of members of the Nashville Predators hockey team:

8. "Let me introduce you to my expansion team."

7. "Unlike those figure skating dudes, I'm all man."

6. "Remember when you said you'd go to bed with me the day Nashville gets a hockey team?"

5. "I still have all my teeth."

3. "Our sport may not be as cool as baseball, basketball, football, boxing, golf or soccer, but I still make a ton of green."

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