Pint-Sized Punch Lines

* Kid: Doctor, my little brother is really crazy! He thinks he's a chicken!

Doctor: How long has this been going on?

Kid: For six years.

Doctor: Good heavens! Why have you waited so long to come for help?

Kid: We needed the eggs! (Janet, 11, Troth Street Elementary School, Mira Loma)

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* One afternoon my kindergarten students were getting a little lively. I firmly said, "Behave!" A small voice responded, "What's have?" (Leah, retired teacher, Los Angeles)

* How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? A buck an ear. (Joshua, 6, Pasadena Christian School, Pasadena)

* Where is the biggest spider web? On the Internet (the World Wide Web). (Andrea, 10, Visitation School, Los Angeles)

* What do you get when you put a missile and a toe together? Mistletoe. (Maria, 10, Downey)

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Kids, do you have a joke or a riddle? Send it to: Kids' Reading Room, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053; or fax to: (213) 237-0732; or e-mail: socalliving@latimes.com. You must include your full name, age, school and city (or hometown).