Off the Campaign Trail: Dan Quayle announced he has quit the presidential race. "It's a sad situation when you've got Donald Trump running for president, you've got Warren Beatty running for president and Dan Quayle is still considered the dumb one." (David Letterman)
Taking Comfort: "Quayle has agreed, however, to remain in the public spotlight for an additional three months, until another national laughingstock can be appointed." (Craig Kilborn)
Signs Garth Brooks is nuts:
9. Is seriously considering operation that will make him the fourth Judd.
8. Earlier today, endorsed Dan Quayle.
7. Just released a collection of love songs about James Brolin.
6. Spends hours alone in bedroom "ropin' the wind."
5. New album just 40 minutes of old answering machine messages.
3. Trashes hotel room, cleans up and vacuums hotel room, leaves himself generous housekeeping tip.
2. Phones Kenny Rogers late at night and whispers "I'm holding them.' "
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