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Laugh Lines

August 14, 2000

Fueling Around: "To give you an idea how high [gas prices] are in California, today in Hollywood, I saw a pimp on one of those Razor scooters." (Jay Leno)

Extended Vacation: "Critics are saying because Joseph Lieberman is [Jewish], it might be a problem because he can't work on the Sabbath. . . . Is that really a problem? He's running for vice president. If he's elected, he won't have to work for four years!" (Jay Leno)


The Essential David Letterman

Top Invisible Guy Pickup Lines

10. "Ever wanted to do it with a laboratory experiment gone awry?"

9. "Do you mean it when you say, 'Looks don't matter'?"

8. "What's a nice girl like you doing here in the Victoria's Secret dressing room?"

4. "Here's an invisible necklace--trust me, it's really expensive."

2. "We haven't met, but I watch you shower every day at the gym."

1. "Would you like to have dinner with me and watch my food digest?"

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.

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