Well, the numbers are in, and the winner's a cinch
The holiday box office champ is "The Grinch"
Though it's not even Christmas, they've made proclamations
"The Grinch" grinched the Rugrats, and those darling Dalmatians
From his whimsy with drawing to his magic with rhyme
Dr. Seuss is my favorite scribe of all time
To say I'm a Seussophile's putting it mildly
Since knee-high to a Who, I have loved his work wildly
His original "Grinch" tale was simple, indeed
Hearth, home and friendship are all that we need
The moral of the yuletide tale is commendable
As the Grinch realizes mere things are expendable
Yet this is a paradox if ever I've seen one
There's a mountain of merchandise starring the Mean One
Yes, the film of this story--with "simple pleasures" the gist
Is now making money hand over fist!
Sure, we all do a project with profit in mind
But who could have predicted big bucks of this kind?
Now please don't think me as snide or sardonic
But a "profitable parable" seems oxymoronic
Ron Howard and Brian Grazer are good-natured blokes
(Even spoofing themselves on "The Simpsons" with jokes)
And I know that Imagine's a charitable bunch
So I'm writing to share my holiday hunch
Start a new Grinch Foundation--why, it all seems so clear!
Make the cynics in Tinseltown stand up and cheer
And think of how wonderfully well this surprise'll
Honor the memory of Theodor Geisel
C'mon--who would miss a couple of million
With projected "Grinch" profits a cool quarter-billion?
(I'm not even counting the bucks they'll rake in
From every "Grinch" greeting card, T-shirt and pin)
Every year Universal could have its own bash
To donate to needy folks much-needed cash
You could support different charities that are in the red
(I can think of 100 off the top of my head)
This way the Grinch's lesson would be brought into focus
That'd be a real "special effect"--not just screen hocus-pocus
Imagine a film with a legacy of this sort
Mssrs. Howard and Grazer, the ball's in your court . . .
Dara Monahan is a freelance writer whose last assignment was an episode of "Cousin Skeeter" for Nickelodeon. She lives in Studio City.