To quote the great funkmaster James Brown: "Get up, get on up! Get up, get on up!" Yes, brothas and sistas, it's time to stay on the scene like a party machine. Since so many of the 2000 galas bombed (Greed + Fear = Y2-KO'd), promoters have banded together to offer some hot times in the city for 2001.
And the winner is . . . the Hollywood Athletic Club, with the mother of all New Year's Eve festivities: the joint party thrown by Club Make-Up, Cherry, Sin-A-Matic, Bang!, Beat It, Shout! and Coven 13. Translated: the goths, queens, punk, mods, rockers, freaks, geeks and the glam contingency will be under the same roof. That about covers it.
These dedicated children of the night were among the only revelers last year. With the Y2K scare officially history, expect plenty of partying like it really is 2001.
With a futuristic, space-age theme, expect some aliens (of sorts) to show up. (Hollywood Athletic Club, 6525 Sunset Blvd., Hollywood. 18 and cover, $30-$40 tickets,  769-5500 or  462-6262.)
Wow, this I gotta see: The weekly promotion, Giant, is living up to its name by taking over two blocks of Hollywood Boulevard and hosting a musical carnival dubbed "2001: A Hollywood Odyssey." The fun starts at 8 p.m. and includes a Ferris wheel and three stages, showcasing nine deejays (including Paul Van Dyk, the evening's headliner. (Giant can be found between Cahuenga and Vine Street, with the Ferris wheel located in the Cosmo Street alley; call Ticketmaster or check out http://www.giantclub.com, 21 and over, $60-$120 cover.)
The House of Blues is playing wicked games with my heart, because it has invited Chris Isaak to croon in the new at the Sunset Strip hot spot. If you've never seen the sweet-singing lover man, put on your swooning shoes. Packages range from $155 to $250, which includes a four-course meal and Foundation Room access (that's the ticket you want). (House of Blues, 8430 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood,  848-5100. 21 and over.)
The West Hollywood nightclub Tempest is keeping things nice, simple and star-studded, with Jeff Goldblum's band (a.k.a. the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra) toasting your toes all night, with tickets from $25 to $100. (Tempest, 7321 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood,  850-5115. 21 and over.)
In answer to the oft-asked: "Where my dogs at?" (dogs being akin to homies), my dogs will be howling in the new year at Goldfingers, with glam rocker Coyote Shivers at the turntable and his lovely princess bride, Pauley Perrette, warming the house with her all-girl group, Lo-Ball--five of the hottest rock vixens in the land. Bow wow wow, yippee yo, yippee yeah. I just might have to be there at midnight. (Goldfingers, 6423 Yucca St., Hollywood,  962-2913. 21 and over, $10-$15 cover.)
Blond Bettys and tattooed hunks will be cruising their Chevys to the Knitting Factory, for some freak-out rock by Southern Culture on the Skids, Throw Rag and more. (Knitting Factory, 7021 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood,  463-0204. 21 and over, $35-$55.)
The Sunset Room is sprinkling its venue with some Mardi Gras flava, as Eddie Baytos & the Nervis Brothers take you to the river with some N'Orleans-styled R&B (Sunset Room, 1430 N. Cahuenga Blvd., Hollywood,  463-0004).
Oh man, now I've really got problems 'cause this just in: The Viper Room has invited the Romantics to perform on NYE. I saw those boys a few weeks back, and they blazed hotter than San Berdoo in August. Man, I might have to be there at midnight. (Viper Room, 8852 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood,  358-1881. 21 and over, $75 cover.)
Hot rock superstars Broken will be shattering glasses at Martini Lounge, which is offering food with its rock 'n' roll frolic. (Martini Lounge, 5657 Melrose Ave., Hollywood,  467-4068. 21 and over, $25-$40 cover.)
The Bigfoot Lodge is getting groovy with the jazz-funk outfit, the Double O's, and the wee log lodge is only charging 10 bucks to get in. (Bigfoot Lodge, 3172 Los Feliz Blvd., Atwater Village. 21 and cover, $10 cover).
And last but not least, the Ruby will be sparkling with the crazy babies of Hollywood with the "7th Annual New Year's Eve Gathering" (featuring such veteran dance clubs as Helter Skelter, Stigmata, Nocturne, Perversion, Velvet and Clockwork Orange). Black heart, optional. (The Ruby, 7070 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood,  462-7442. 18 and over, $30-$40 cover.)