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Laugh Lines

March 03, 2000

Go, Granny: "A 90-year-old grandmother, Granny D, as she is known in the hood, ended her yearlong, 3,000-mile walk for campaign finance reform at the steps of the Capitol. [She] arrived in Washington on Tuesday, more than a full year after she said she was going to the kitchen to wash out some old Ziploc bags." (Jon Stewart)

Go Back, Granny: "You know the sad part? Somewhere along the way, [Granny D] lost her car keys and has to retrace her steps all the way back." (Jay Leno)

*

The Essential

David Letterman

Top Signs Kathie Lee

Gifford Doesn't Give

a Damn Anymore

10. Sometimes goes minutes at a time without mentioning her kids.

8. Keeps referring to Regis as the host of "Card Sharks."

7. Dumped Frank; started dating Puffy.

6. Dumped Puffy; started dating Rick Rockwell.

5. Won't stop talking about her quintuple bypass.

4. Forgets to not wear a bra.

3. No matter how much America pleads, she refuses to favor us with a song.

1. She's guest-hosting the "Late Show."

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

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