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Laugh Lines

March 20, 2000

On a Roll: "You've got to hand it to Amtrak. Even in Kansas, a state that is completely flat, Amtrak finds an embankment to roll down." (Jay Leno)

Stuck-Up: "Gore e-mailed Bush. And then Bush tried to e-mail him back, but he couldn't get the stamps to stick to the screen." (Bill Maher)

Catch-22: "Bush said he will debate Al Gore when people are paying attention. . . . If people were paying attention, George W. Bush wouldn't be the candidate." (Leno)

All Over the Place: "Senate candidate Hillary Clinton said Motown is her era and those are her people. Only someone from Arkansas would run for the Senate in New York and claim their people are from Detroit." (Leno)

Towing the Liner: "Earlier in the month, a Southwest jet skidded off the runway at Burbank airport and came to a stop in front of a gas station. You know the worst part? It took Triple-A three hours to finally get a tow truck to the scene." (Andrew Wisot)

Free at Last: "Keiko the killer whale was freed in the North Atlantic after two years inside a halfway tub in Mexico. This poor whale has been captured and released more times than Puff Daddy." (Argus Hamilton)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

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