Playing on Strength: "Rush Limbaugh wants to join ABC's 'Monday Night Football.' After studying the Clinton administration for seven years, there's no question that he's qualified. You can't cover the NFL without a background in criminal law." (Argus Hamilton)
Wearing It Out: "A study shows the ozone layer is shrinking 4% per year. The ozone layer is like an old pair of jeans--shrunken, faded blue, and with a hole that keeps getting bigger." (Kenny Noble Cortes)
Companion Fares: "According to a poll of travelers published in USA Today, 58% of those surveyed listed spouses as their traveling companions of choice. Unfortunately, the respondents didn't specify whether it was their spouse or someone else's." (Ira Lawson)
Playing Musical Mob: "Mick Jagger and director Martin Scorsese are teaming up to work on a film. I hear it's about a pop star who leads a mob. In fact, I think they're going to call it 'The Grandfather.' " (Andrew Wisot)
