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May 04, 2000|ROBERT BURNS

A roundup of recommended Web sites

Love hurts: The Blender of Love (http://www .loveblender .com) serves up amorous verse that will keep you home Saturday nights. Out of fear.

Worse verse: Enjoy more than 14,000 haikus on everyone's favorite processed meat product at the Spam Haiku Archive (http://pemtropics .mit.edu/jcho/spam). Just don't eat it.

Fun with Dewey decimals: Those mild-mannered souls in sensible shoes whom we know and love as librarians show off their tattoos and piercings at the Modified Librarian (http://www.bmeworld.com /gailcat /index.html). No late fees on this ink.

He had an ing-bing when the jane took the jake: Want to know what it means? Visit the Dictionary of Hardboiled Slang (http://www .miskatonic.org /slang.html). Muy Sam Spade.

TV plug: See the results of the unholy unions from the "Late Night With Conan O'Brian" feature "If They Mated" at http://www.nbc.com /NBCconan/index .asp?section=mated. OK, it's really cheesy and stupid, but isn't photo-manipulation software great?

Got a Web site suggestion?

E-mail click.here @latimes.com.

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