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Laugh Lines

May 05, 2000

Sending Signals: "Al Gore gave an address at Boston's Old South Meeting Place built by the Puritans in 1729. . . . This sent a clear signal. If he is honoring the Puritans, he is distancing himself from Bill Clinton again." (Argus Hamilton)

Boys Will Be Boys: "According to a study, most women in this country are wearing the wrong size bra. . . . See, that's why men are always trying to get them off. . . . 'We don't want you to hurt yourself! Take that thing off, you'll kill yourself!' " (Jay Leno)

On the Retreat: "Elian Gonzalez and his father are at a beautiful . . . retreat in Maryland. It is so nice, as a matter of fact, that . . . Castro has decided to defect." (David Letterman)

Crime 'n' Punishment: "In Afghanistan, a woman was stoned for adultery. In a related story, President Clinton withdrew his application as ambassador of Afghanistan." (Alex Kaseberg)

Taste Test: "Looks like Darva 'Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?' Conger will pose naked in Playboy magazine. . . . She says the photos will be tastefully done. And who knows more about taste than a woman who marries a guy five minutes after she meets him on a TV show?" (Leno)


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