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Laugh Lines

May 15, 2000

Making Plans: "President Clinton said . . . that until his apartment is ready at the Little Rock presidential library . . . he will live with his mother-in-law. How bad have you screwed up when your wife makes you live with your mother-in-law? . . . Frank Gifford's going, 'I got off easy!' " (Jay Leno)

Bumpy Ride: "Congress is weighing a law to let the government regulate roller coasters. They say the diving, climbing and dropping cause injuries. They want a sign on Wall Street saying you have to be this tall to ride the Nasdaq." (Argus Hamilton)

Learning the Trade: "In Paris, men are taking classes . . . on how to approach the opposite sex. Isn't teaching a Frenchman to hit on women like teaching a New Yorker how to flip off a tourist?" (Alex Kaseberg)

Give It Time: "The FBI said crime is down for the eighth straight year. The NFL season starts in [a few] months, so things should get back to normal." (R.J. Johnson)

Man's Best Friend: "President Clinton said when Hillary's away, he sleeps in the bed with Buddy, the White House dog. . . . He got into that habit when Hillary banished him to the doghouse last year." (Leno)


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