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Erotic Images May Signal Desire to Be in Spotlight

May 30, 2000

Dear Cynthia: I rarely have erotic dreams, but when I do, they always involve very famous men (Paul McCartney, Alan Alda, Al Gore) that I admire. In the dreams, I am always very surprised that they would be interested in me (as I would be in real life!) but they are definitely the aggressors. I haven't been able to identify anything in particular that triggers these dreams, and for days afterward I feel much better about myself than usual. What might I be trying to tell myself?


El Centro

Dear Jean: Sex in the language of dreams can be . . . sex! The famous quote attributed to Sigmund Freud comes to mind, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." One of the purposes of dreaming is compensation for what we don't have in our waking state. So during periods of abstinence in the life of an otherwise sexually active adult, one may dream of sexual encounters. Both men and women can have orgasms during a dream.

But intercourse can also be symbolic for the desire to merge with the qualities and characteristics the dreamer associates with the other person. Each of the men you mention is certainly successful in his chosen field, each in his own way is a performer and is in the public eye. You may want to be more in the spotlight yourself, to be a confident public speaker or to be more respected or successful.

The dream could also be one of support for your self-esteem. Each of these wealthy and powerful men pursues you. This can be your subconscious mind's way of reminding you that you are a desirable woman worthy of such high-profile companionship. I love that you feel good about yourself for days after the dream, but wonder why you don't always feel the same? Maybe you would benefit from building your confidence and self-esteem.

You are unique. There is no one else on the planet exactly like you. No one shares your lifetime of experiences, your personality, your appearance, your skills, talents and abilities; therefore, you are the perfect you! Remind yourself of what you give and offer in a relationship. You might borrow a phrase from the Rev. Jesse Jackson and look into the mirror while saying, "I am somebody." This little exercise is very empowering.


Cynthia Richmond is the author of "Dream Power, How to Use Your Night Dreams to Change Your Life" (Simon & Schuster, 2000). Fax your dreams to Cynthia Richmond at (818) 783-3267 or e-mail them to Please include your hometown and a daytime phone number. In Your Dreams appears every Tuesday and should be read for entertainment purposes only.

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