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Laugh Lines

November 01, 2000

Dozing Off: "According to research from the National Sleep Foundation, 38% of people surveyed indicate that it takes them more than 30 minutes to fall asleep at least three times a week. . . . Thirty percent of the respondents say they fall asleep immediately--especially if there's an Al Gore story on the late news." (Ira Lawson)

All Tangled Up: "George W. Bush got his syntax tangled up during a speech in Iowa. He declared that America is a place where wings can take dreams. Let's hope he doesn't have to read the nuclear attack codes out loud." (Argus Hamilton)

Flex Her Muscles: "Anna Nicole Smith was hospitalized recently after dropping a dumbbell on her arm while working out. . . . In fact, you know the worst part? . . . It was the arm she uses to count all the money she got from her late husband." (Andrew Wisot)

Doesn't Add Up: "Al Gore made a mathematical gaffe during his speech . . . in . . . Tennessee. In explaining how George W. Bush was going to ruin Social Security, Gore incorrectly identified a trillion dollars as being 'a million billion dollars,' when in reality, it's a thousand billion dollars. The scary thing is that Gore is considered the smarter of the two presidential hopefuls." (Ira Lawson)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.

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