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Laugh Lines

November 15, 2000

TV Tales: "TV Guide criticized prime-time TV shows this fall for boring plots and overall lack of creativity. Many of the dramas have no suspense at all. For instance, in 'The West Wing,' everyone already knows who's been elected president." (Argus Hamilton)

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The Essential David Letterman

Top Ways the United States Would Be Different Without a President

10. Supreme Court justice is selected by being the 100th caller to Z-100.

9. "Hail to the Chief" is only played for the winner of Pillsbury Bake-Off.

8. Instead of going to Iowa and New Hampshire every four years, no one would ever go to Iowa and New Hampshire.

5. More time on the news for banter between the anchor and weatherman.

4. The position of vice president would be even more insignificant.

3. The entire country would operate as inefficiently as the state of Florida.

2. Only her friends, family and the occasional guy from T.G.I. Friday's would know the name Monica Lewinsky.

1. 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. would be the grandest Blockbuster Video ever.

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.

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