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In Your Dreams

Sexy Dreams May Be Mostly Symbolic

October 10, 2000

Dear Cynthia: I am taking my recurring dream seriously because I've had it so many times and for so long.

In each dream I have an affair--a different wild sexual fantasy with some willing, uninhibited, beautiful woman. For instance, I meet a stranger or friend on the street or at a party, and we sneak off and have passionate sex. I'm usually the charmer--you'd be impressed with my lines, but sometimes she seduces me. Wow! I wonder where my brain gets all the new material.

No big deal except that every time in the middle of the act, I get caught by my wife!

One night, it was so realistic I woke up from the throes of imagined passion, sweating, and mistaking my wife for the other woman, I jumped out of bed and ran out of the bedroom. My wife thought I was nuts.

I've been happily married for seven years to a popular TV actress whose fans rave about her sexiness and beauty. My sex life is great. Does my dream indicate that I am very far away from cheating on her, or should I be worried?


Los Angeles


Dear S.T.,

I wish that I could type this with a Freudian accent! Sigmund would love your dream.

Since you have a beautiful, sexy wife and your sex life is great, we need to look beyond the literal meaning. I wonder if your dream affairs are a counterbalance to the acting your wife does. In other words, if she gets consistent validation for her appearance and sexiness as you say, perhaps your subconscious mind is giving you an opportunity to get your own rave reviews!

However, there could be more to it. A dream that recurs indicates that the message has not been understood. Ask yourself: "Where in my life am I afraid of getting caught, or being interrupted in a critical or sensitive moment? Where am I denied pleasure? Who am I trying to persuade or seduce?"

Do you have a business partner? Your wife could represent any other partner in your life. An affair can also be a social function or a business event.


Cynthia Richmond is the author of "Dream Power: How to Use Your Night Dreams to Change Your Life" (Simon & Schuster, 2000). Fax your dreams to Cynthia Richmond at (818) 783-3267 or e-mail them to Please include your hometown and a daytime phone number. In Your Dreams appears every Tuesday and should be read for entertainment purposes only.

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