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Laugh Lines

October 27, 2000

Affairs of the Heart: "A recent study says that a man in his 60s is much more likely to commit adultery than a man in his 20s. You think that's true? . . . You know what that means? . . . Clinton's just getting started." (Jay Leno)

Life Lessons: George W. Bush . . . said . . . the reason people think he's doing OK in these debates and stuff is because the expectation is so low. He said that and he said, 'So, you know, I've done pretty well for myself.' I think there's a rule in life for all of us somehow there." (David Letterman)

Cutting Loose: "The Department of Transportation says 25% of screws and bolts on airplanes weren't tightly fastened at recent inspections. The FAA denies there's a problem with loose screws. Pat Buchanan must be outside its jurisdiction." (Argus Hamilton)

Institution of Marriage: "George W. Bush came out against gay marriage. And Al Gore is a little more liberal. . . . Gore said he thought that there should be some sort of civic union between gay people; a union where two people could be together in the eyes of the law--even though it's not really a marriage. . . . Kind of like what the Clintons have right now." (Leno)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.

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