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THE INSIDE TRACK | MORNING BRIEFING

Miller's Success Hinges on Who Has the Remote

September 04, 2000|LARRY STEWART

St. Louis Ram defensive tackle D'Marco Farr says he is a fan of Dennis Miller.

"It's intelligent humor," Farr told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. "His rants are hilarious."

Farr will be busy tonight when Miller makes his regular-season debut on ABC's "Monday Night Football" when the Rams play host to the Denver Broncos.

But what did Farr think of Miller's performance as a football commentator during the exhibition season?

"I didn't really have a chance to sit down and watch him because my wife can't stand him," Farr said.

Farr's household seems to reflect the norm across America.

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Trivia time: The Rams haven't been on "Monday Night Football" since 1991, when they played in Anaheim. When was the last time a Monday night game originated from St. Louis?

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That's fast: Mike Littwin of the Denver Rocky Mountain News describes the Rams' speed as "the NFL's answer to an ABC trivia question--what's faster than Dennis Miller's mouth?"

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Another Riggs-King? IMG, which represents tennis analyst John McEnroe and Venus and Serena Williams, is trying to put together an exhibition match between McEnroe and one of the sisters for a prime-time telecast on CBS.

The idea stems from McEnroe's comments that any good male college player or senior tour member could defeat either of the Williams sisters. The late Bobby Riggs made a similar claim before losing to Billie Jean King on prime-time television in 1973.

Asked about the possibility of such a match, McEnroe told the New York Post: "I'd insist on winner-take-all and no [money] guarantees, just to make sure they wouldn't be getting a ton of money to lose to me."

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From another world: Skip Bayless of the Chicago Tribune describes Tiger Woods this way: "I feel almost as if we've finally encountered a superior life form from another universe. It's as if he isn't governed by the Earth's gravity or the human psyche.

"He hits UFOs off the tee. He putts telepathically. He has achieved the inhuman capacity of instant negative memory loss."

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Good point: Martina Navratilova, nearly a scratch golfer, once asked by Bayless why she didn't try professional golf, said: "Are you kidding? Golf's too hard--the ball's too small. You can come much closer to mastering tennis."

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Trivia answer: The last "Monday Night Football" telecast from St. Louis was in 1986, when the Dallas Cowboys beat the St. Louis Cardinals, 31-7.

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And finally: Salt Lake City is concerned about an invasion of prostitutes at the 2002 Winter Olympics. That won't be a problem at this year's Summer Olympics in Sydney, where prostitution has been legal since 1995.

"The sex industry here is in for its busiest time ever," Maria McMahon, manager of Sydney's Sex Workers Outreach Project, told the Salt Lake Tribune.

"And what is the Sex Workers Outreach Project?" asks Ron Rapoport of the Chicago Sun-Times.

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