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Laugh Lines

September 11, 2000

Loud and Clear: "At a rally in Illinois, a live microphone caught George W. Bush telling running mate Dick Cheney, 'There's Adam Clymer, a major-league a------ from the New York Times.' . . . Bush claims he didn't know the microphone was turned on. Kind of like Clinton claimed he didn't know the intern was turned on." (Alex Kaseberg)


The Essential David Letterman

Top Things Going Through George W. Bush's Mind at This Moment

10. "Oh, well, I'll just get daddy to fix it somehow."

9. "I picked a guy who says 'big time' to be my vice president?"

8. "I'll bet Gore and Lieberstein are going to have a field day with this one."

7. "That's what I get for partying till 3 a.m."

6. "I sure hope this doesn't cost me the major-league a------ vote."

5. "Cheney bald . . . head look like melon . . . melon yummy."

4. Nothing.

3. "When I left this morning, did I remember to turn off the electric chair?"

1. "Actually, [Adam Clymer's] minor league compared with Letterman."


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