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He Never Lost Knack for Saying the Wrong Thing

September 15, 2000|MAL FLORENCE

Dave Bliss, a former assistant basketball coach to Bob Knight at West Point, told this story on the "General" to Randy Galloway of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

It was in the late 1960s, and Knight's West Point gang of young assistant coaches from all the sports at Army had just finished a game of very rough pickup basketball.

On leaving the gym on this particular day, the weary group noticed a young female jogger huffing and puffing her way up a hill.

"Look at her," Knight said. "No matter how hard she tries, she'll never lose that fat."

"I know," answered Bill Parcells, then an Army assistant football coach. "That's my wife."


Trivia time: Who was the first football player from one of the current Pacific 10 Conference schools to win the Heisman Trophy?


Hoosier hoops: David Letterman on the "Top 10 Questions on the Indiana University Basketball Coach Application." A sampling:

* Do you have the proper disrespect for authority?


* True or False: Everyone else in the world is an idiot, you're the only genius.

* Why do you want to be a coach, in 30 profanities or less."

Antagonists: "Monday Night Football" executive Don Ohlmeyer, to the Boston Globe on the New York-Boston rivalry:

"There has been bad blood since the trade of Babe Ruth. The two cities can't even agree on what color clam chowder should be."


Considerate: Ugandan archer Margaret Tumusume showed up in Sydney without a bow and arrow. She was too poor to buy her own, so kind-hearted Australians raised $5,000 to outfit her.

Said David Whitley of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel: "Dream Teamer Gary Payton showed up without his entourage. A fund has been established to rent one to tide him over."


Hoping he's exempt: Brazilian Armando Barcellos, on the swimming in Sydney Harbor in the Olympic triathlon: "There are 54 other competitors for the sharks to eat. I'm thin--they wouldn't like that."

In the interest of full disclosure, the last fatal shark attack in Sydney Harbor was in 1963.

Why not? Ted Miller in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer: "If UCLA beats No. 3 Michigan, it should be ranked No. 1 in the nation. What, elevate the No. 14 team to No. 1 past top-ranked Nebraska and No. 2 Florida State? What are you smoking?

"Well, what other team can say it beat two No. 3 teams this year?"

Looking back: On this day in 1978, the Dodgers became the first major league club to pass the 3 million mark in home attendance.

And on the same day: Also on Sept. 15, 1978, Muhammad Ali became the first three-time heavyweight boxing champion with a unanimous 15-round decision over Leon Spinks at the Superdome in New Orleans.


Trivia answer: Quarterback Terry Baker of Oregon State in 1962.


And finally: Jerry Greene in the Orlando Sentinel: "At AOL, 115,000 voters graded Dennis Miller's efforts Monday night. He got an 'A' from 16.1%--and a 'D' from 47.7%. (AOL wouldn't let us give him an 'F.')

"And the 'D' grade was up from 42.9% last week."

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