There's little doubt there will be a strike this spring by TV and film writers. Because I'm a writer for ABC's "Politically Incorrect," and because I intend to survive the strike, I'm already making contingency plans.
* Begin exchange of letters with Thomas Pynchon. I've always felt an affinity with Pynchon--maybe I see bits of "Gravity's Rainbow" in my monologue jokes about Madonna.
* Finish musical based on the life and work of Alan Greenspan.
* Detail leather pants.
* Start Internet company, Haircuts.com.
* Discuss "Ulysses" with the creator of "Jackass."
* Watch daytime talk shows. Prepare to be entertained and empowered.
* Connect with nature by starting own personal rolling blackouts.
* Buy a box. Stand outside it and think.
* Practice networking skills. Ask cashier at market for introduction to produce manager. Share thoughts from outside the box (display vegetables alphabetically).
