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LAUGH LINES

January 03, 2001

Give and Take: "The former cast members of the TV show 'Gilligan's Island' announced plans to auction off mementos from the show and donate the proceeds to charity. The name of the charity is Former Cast Members of 'Gilligan's Island.' " (Jay Leno)

Unfriendly Skies: "To save fuel, the airline industry may cut the fresh airflow on most planes in half. [Some] argue that the result will be illness and nausea. Then again, fliers already have that problem after eating airline food." (Paul Steinberg)

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Chris Pina's Essential Daily List

George W. Bush's Comments

During Transition Meetings

10. "For Secretary of the Interior, I want Martha Stewart."

9. "Whoever that foreign leader was, his name made me giggle."

8. "Together as a nation, we can . . . do stuff."

7. "Condoleezza Rice? Didn't we order that for lunch?"

6. "It was a stroke of my genius to choose Gen. Conan O'Powell."

5. "Dad always said don't raise taxes and never hurl on people."

4. "Why can't I nominate Zorro for something?"

3. "Who's the designated driver? Not Cheney, I hope."

2. "I met with Al Gore. He's nice--why isn't he president?"

1. "Mommy?"

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.

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