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You'll Have to Be 'Fast and Furious' to Beat Traffic After a Dodger Game

July 04, 2001|STEVE HARVEY

In the new drag race movie "The Fast and the Furious," one dramatic scene shows a driver roaring back and forth through the deserted parking area of Dodger Stadium.

Obviously, the fearless youth is preparing for the day he faces the biggest test of his life: leaving a Dodger game early to beat the traffic.

The wimpy and the wordy: Before the movie began, incidentally, a cautionary note on the screen said, "We appreciate your support in creating a quiet, movie-going experience."

How the English language has evolved, or devolved.

When I was a kid the warning was briefer, and I think, more effective. It said:

"SHHH!"

Happy July Fourth . . . but, remember, if you were planning to drop your PC or laptop off at the dry cleaner (see accompanying), the shop's probably closed today. My thanks to Richard Ickler of Long Beach for alerting me to this new service.

Searching for a pulse: Don't you hate it when companies you've never heard of act like they know you? Dan Fink of L.A. came upon a questionnaire that is very presumptuous (see accompanying)--especially if it's talking about how I feel some Monday mornings.

Driving with the top down? In the Stupid Driving Tricks department, I've included sightings of people undressing behind the wheel. Phil Proctor of Beverly Hills wondered if that was the idea behind a "Motoring Accessories" shop advertising lingerie (see photo).

Speaking of mysteries: I noticed that Caltrans has replaced those "California Welcome Center" signs on the Santa Monica Freeway that seemed to depict the state's mascot as a giant rodent. The new signs have restored the grizzly bear's status.

Doug Schiller of Riverside writes that that snafu came to mind when he and his wife, Murray, visited Jackson Hole, Wyo. The Schillers encountered a critter on a sign that defied identification. It "appeared to be a cross between Lassie and a beaver," he said. "Even more perplexing was the location. The only thing that could possibly cross the rocks would be a bighorn sheep." (See photo.)

miscelLAny: A reader wrote columnist Diane Bell of the San Diego Union Tribune that he found it incongruous that "actors--a community obsessed with youth and body image--belong to a union known as SAG."

I might add that it's less puzzling, in view of all the flight delays and late arrivals here, that the airport in the City of Angels is LAX.

But, please, no cracks about the Los Angeles Times being LAT.

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