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Laugh Lines

March 02, 2001

The Art of Anger: "New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani is once again expressing outrage at an art exhibit--this time at a painting in which Jesus is depicted as a naked woman. . . . Said the mayor, 'This trash is not the sort of thing that I want to look at when I go to the museum with my mistress.' " (Tina Fey)

Drink to That: "Coca-Cola has agreed to pay $150 million to Warner Bros. to be the promotional partner to the upcoming film 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.' . . . You won't actually see Harry drink a Coke, but you'll know he does once you see his teeth start to decay, his face break out, and he puts on about 60 pounds." (Jerry Perisho)

Family Faults: "Bill Clinton's brother, Roger, was arrested for driving under the influence. . . . And what's interesting about that is he is still not the most embarrassing member of his family." (David Letterman)

On the Road: "Roger Clinton . . . was arrested for driving under the influence. . . . Apparently, he was weaving [and] went off the road up onto somebody's lawn. . . . Police wouldn't say what his blood alcohol level was, but they did say it was somewhere between a Kennedy and a Yeltsin." (Jay Leno)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.

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