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Deputies Put Vision of X-ray Machine to Good Use in Explaining Capture

November 06, 2001|STEVE HARVEY

In the not-so-great criminal minds department, a suspect fleeing L.A. County sheriff's deputies crept into a house in Paramount and hid. Deputies using loudspeakers ordered him out, and he complied.

Later, according to the Paramount newsletter, City Talk, the captured suspect asked, "How did you know where I was?"

A deputy joked that they had seen through the walls with their X-ray machine.

Replied the suspect: "I knew it!"

One hazard L.A. drivers don't face: Donna Bedell of Claremont came upon an unusual warning to motorists at a penguin gathering spot at Boulders Beach, Cape Town, South Africa (see photo).

Letter imperfect: The word in the marquee spotted by Linda Lakso of Beverly Hills was supposed to be a synonym for air current (see photo). Instead, it referred to someone who probably sees penguins under the car and everywhere else.

Can't be too safe these days: Patrick Smith of Palm Desert received a notice that seemed to call into question the durability of his car brakes (see accompanying).

Cold reception: I mentioned a new novel that seemed to be about a lethal ice-resurfacing machine: "Death by Zamboni."

It probably won't come as a surprise that the book, by David Katzman, will not be marketed by the Zamboni Co. of Paramount (which sells cute little likenesses of the machines).

That's probably just as well from a truth-in-advertising standpoint. The book, according to one summary, follows "antihero Satan Donut through a world of mimes, TV stars, zombies, blockheads, mad scientists, riot girls and werewolves."

But no hockey players. Zamboni spokeswoman Paula Jensen informed me that apart from the title, the book "actually has no other reference to Zamboni that we could find." I detected relief on her part.

Bad connections: I heard ESPN radio host Todd Wright say that when a telemarketer phones him at home, he likes to play "Stump the Solicitor."

That is, he responds that he won't listen to the spiel unless the salesperson can answer a sports trivia question (something really tough, such as: "When was the last time the Angels played in a post-season series?").

Some of the solicitors try to answer. Others tell Wright they don't have time to play the game, to which he replies: "I'm sorry, but that answer is incorrect," and hangs up.

My friend Greg Horbachevsky, on the other hand, prefers to play dueling phone sales with telemarketers.

For instance, when one cable TV rep called him, Horbachevsky said no to her offer, then quickly added, "But I am trying to sell my sofa. Would you be interested in buying it?"

Naturally, the rep interrupted him, trying to press the cable TV offer, but Horbachevsky was undaunted. "Look," he re-interrupted, "how can you say no before I've even described the sofa? Let me tell you about the fabric. . . ."

He got rid of the saleswoman--though not the sofa.

miscelLAny: Phil Proctor of Beverly Hills points out that in "Dracula, the Musical" at the La Jolla Playhouse, the cast credits include Jenny Lynn-Suckling in the role of "Second Vampire."

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.

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