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Covered With Fruit or Fur, Doo Dah Marchers Need Not Fear Tortillas

November 15, 2001|STEVE HARVEY

The Doo Dah Parade is Sunday, and this year's stellar cast includes:

* Sheila of the Jungle, a fruit-covered woman/gorilla singer.

* Johnny the Skunk Man, a fur-covered guitarist with a black and white Mohawk haircut.

* And the Dead Rose Queens, some beauty pageant winners back from the dead.

One Doo Dah first is Eiffel for Andrew, a wedding shower that will be celebrated during the parade by newlyweds Jessica Schulman and Andrew Edelstein.

"He proposed to her on the Eiffel Tower," explained Doo Dah spokeswoman Patricia Hurley.

A reminder: Rule No. 3 on the event's Web site states that tortillas are banned; tortilla-throwing at the floats became a bothersome custom several years ago.

And officials don't want the newlyweds to be pelted by anything besides rice.

Unclear on the concept: Today's puzzlers (see accompanying) include:

* A residential complex where your car is parked by dancing attendants (submitted by O.L. Sidenfaden and others).

* Several levels of meaning at the new Hollywood & Highland entertainment complex (photo by Diane Brown of Torrance).

* And, a type of cosmetic treatment that conjures up a Picasso painting (Jolene Collins of Tujunga).

Taming telemarketers (cont.): "When phone solicitors call," wrote therapist Joya Light of West L.A., "I say, 'I charge $100 an hour, and I would be more than happy to talk with you if you send me the appropriate amount of money for the amount of my time you want.' Unfortunately, no one has taken me up on my offer! (And unfortunately, I rarely get $100 an hour, but hey, there are some days . . .)"

Everyone races around in Southern California: "My daughter and I were watching the International City Marathon in Long Beach on Sunday when a visibly impatient woman drove up to the intersection that crossed the course," wrote Alan Coles of that city.

"She told the race volunteer that she needed to get to church. After she waited for several minutes, a break appeared and she sped off after making an obscene gesture. We all agreed that she really needed to get to church."

How's that again? Some quotes from actual accident reports compiled by retired L.A. Superior Court Judge Harry Shafer and co-author Angie Papadakis in their book "Howls of Justice":

* "This fellow was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

* "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished."

* "I collided with a stopped truck coming the other way."

* "I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull."

* "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."

Doo dah, doo dah.


One of the latest additions to the personalized license plate Hall of Fame on KNX's Web site ( is IL BIL.

Explained owner Bil Eyster of Simi Valley: "I spell my nickname, Bil, with one 'L.' Some people read my plate differently as, 'ILL BILL,' but I am very healthy."

Steve Harvey can be reached by fax at (213) 237-4712 or by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012.

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