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Maybe the Blinking TV News Reporter Should Lighten Up on the Mascara

January 15, 2002|STEVE HARVEY

Here's one criticism of television news I've never heard. A Sherman Oaks resident complained to the media Web site that a local reporter blinks her eyes "upwards of 30-45 [times] per minute." He said that's about four times the average. I dunno. It's the constant eyebrow raisers that really bother me.

Law daze: Barbara Albert sent along a snapshot taken at the rear entrance to the L.A. County Law Library--possibly for lawyers who require detailed testimony of what a bell is (see photo). Larry Kallestad saw an ad placed by a Manhattan Beach lawyer who must do a lot of traveling (see accompanying). And, in Kansas, George Bethell found a law firm whose sign might lead some to believe its members do too much traveling (see photo).

The work of a crazed interior decorator? Ida Messinger came upon a crime blotter item in the Hollywood Independent about a burglar who removed a woman's furniture "and placed it in her garage."

Imitation Orange: Some classic Orange County movie and TV lines:

* "I've got to get out of Orange County," young writer in the movie "Orange County" (2002).

* "It's a beautiful day in Anaheim," baseball announcer in "Angels in the Outfield" (1994).

* "But this is Orange County," Agent Scully, expressing surprise that a brain-eating mutant works at a Costa Mesa hamburger stand in the TV show "The X-Files" (1999).

What do the three scenes have in common? All were shot outside Orange County: "Orange County" in the San Fernando Valley, "Angels" in Oakland and "The X-Files" episode in South Gate.

Movie memories: Some eye-catchers from the satirical newspaper the Onion's 2002 calendar, "Our Dumb Century--100 Years of Headlines From America's Finest News Source":

* 1900: "Six-Minute Moving Picture Photo-Play Agonizingly Long, Say Critics"

* 1918: "Chaplin Moving Picture $400 Over Budget; Moving Picture Business May Be Out of Control"

* 1947: " 'Tele-Vision' Promises Mass Enrichment of Mankind; 'Drama and Learning Box' Will Make Schools Obsolete By 1970"

* 1989: "New TV Network to Employ Over 25,000 Wayans Brothers"

He couldn't resist: Kay Scrafield of Laguna Beach says her beauty parlor "caters to the mature clientele." So the customers had a good laugh the other day when a newcomer asked one of the operators if he had the new edition of People magazine. "Sorry," the operator said, "I just have the old People."

Carrying dental hygiene too far: "Witnesses grabbed a man as he fled with five tubes of toothpaste," the police log of the Long Beach Press-Telegram reported. "But he slipped out of his jacket and fled on foot."

I trust that by ending the column with a crime item I haven't left a bad taste in your mouth.


Samuel Shultz of Thousand Oaks reports this news-related admission on a sign at the Terry Lumber Yard in Tarzana:






Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at


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