Further proof that everyone's a critic: The Seal Beach Sun's police blotter recorded a complaint about a woman on a public street "who was seen carrying a 40-ounce Budweiser and singing Elton John songs."
This incident is not believed to be related to a recent complaint in Laguna Niguel about a person "who was sitting in a parked vehicle listening to very loud Italian opera."
On another sour note...: In his post-election wrap-up, columnist Dan Bernstein of the Riverside Press Enterprise wrote that one losing candidate's cause wasn't helped by the fact that she was a former USC song girl. That, he explained, meant she had been "accompanied by the wretched USC marching band."
It is true that fans of rival schools have long bemoaned the fact that the USC band plays "Tribute to Troy" dozens of times per game. In fact, they play it so often that Pete Carroll, after becoming USC football coach, was moved to ask reporters: "How many times do they play that song? Goll-ee. They just keep playing it."
But I wondered if perhaps Bernstein himself had a musical link to one of those rival schools.
"I'll have you know," he replied, "I was a proud, pants-dropping member of the Leland Stanford Jr. University Marching Band (trombone)
I'm keeping that confession on file in case Bernstein ever runs for office.
Salute to the Oscars: Here's another in a series of memorable marquees snapped by column readers, in this case, by Mary Lou Canaday (see photo).
Such a deal: Today's unusual offers (see accompanying) include a sale that doesn't seem like a sale (contributed by Sue Siani of Torrance), as well as a wheelbarrow that has some strange capabilities (spotted by Fred Sakumi of Montrose). The wheelbarrow text may have been intended for a product one column over in the advertisement for some "premium planting mix."
L.A. moves to the left: Did you read where Mayor Hahn said he has smoothed out 25 of the city's most gridlocked intersections? He added that he ignored those who kidded him "when I said I wanted to put in more left-turn lanes and left-turn signals."
No defense needed. As one character says in the movie "Grand Canyon": "Making a left turn in L.A. is one of the harder things you'll learn in life."
Traffic congestion (cont.): Police were called to Seal Beach "after a dispute broke out between two surfers," the Long Beach Press-Telegram said, and one surfer accused "the other of kicking him while they rode waves." Amazing if true--I mean the idea that a surfer could kick someone in the next lane and still maintain balance on his board.
miscelLAny: Dick Harmon noticed that San Juan Capistrano has dueling signs at its city limits along the San Diego Freeway. The sign at the south end says the city's population is 25,000. The sign at the north end says it's 31,071. Maybe the latter figure includes the swallows.
Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at email@example.com.