BERKELEY — Marcus has two moms. And once the 15-year-old reaches his 18th birthday, Marcus expects to meet his ... well, what's the right term for the mystery man who provided the sperm that made his life possible?
"The donor" is how Marcus Liefert thinks of him now. Certainly not "dad," even though Marcus imagines they might go out to a ballgame someday. How about "genetic father"?
"No. I know that's biologically true, but that's not the term I would use," Marcus says.
The word "father" connotes parenthood, and Marcus knows who his parents are: Francey Liefert, who conceived him and carried him in her womb, and Laurel Liefert, Francey's longtime partner and the biological mother of Marcus' 12-year-old sibling, David. The Lieferts insisted on sperm from the same donor to assure that Marcus and David are genetic half-brothers, thus tightening the familial bonds.
The Lieferts are among a group of families on the cusp of an uncharted realm in human relations. The children born to women who have patronized the Sperm Bank of California since feminists founded it in Oakland in 1982 have been offered an unprecedented option: disclosure of the donor's identity when the child crosses the legal threshold of adulthood.
The nonprofit sperm bank, founded primarily to help lesbians and single straight women fulfill maternal goals, has helped in the conception of more than 1,100 children. Roughly four out of five clients have chosen the donor ID release option, officials say.
So far, three children who were conceived under the agreement have turned 18, one of whom has requested and received her donor father's identity. Claire, the daughter of a single Palo Alto woman, has seen the donor's photograph and received other factual information. (Sperm Bank of California officials urge participants to use only their first names in the media to help preserve confidentiality. The Lieferts prefer to use their full names.) A high school senior, Claire intends to meet her donor someday, program officials say, but she has not decided when. When she is ready, it will be up to Claire and the donor to handle the specifics of their meeting, but the task force hopes to stay in touch with all parties to see what issues arise down the line so they can prepare for the next generation.
