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Laugh Lines

September 14, 2002

Long Life: "I saw in the paper recently: If you have a lot of sex you will live longer.

"Yeah, right, sure--until you get the bill." (David Letterman)

"Survivor" Scandal: "There's already controversy surrounding the new "Survivor: Thailand" because one of the contestants, a former actor, appeared in several soft-core porn movies. He's now retired and is selling used cars for a living.

The suits at CBS are concerned his background may turn off some viewers. They don't think anyone trusts used car salesmen. (Ira Lawson)

Cheers!: "Researchers say a beer a day is good for your health. Please. How many guys are going to misuse this information?

"Hey, I'm on that beer-a-day diet. I feel great! I'm way ahead; I'm up to October 2075." (Jay Leno)


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