Punk Kid Shows No Respect to Open

OAKMONT, Pa. — This column by the late Jim Murray was first published on June 18, 1973:

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OAKMONT, Pa. -- The 1973 U.S. Open was won Sunday by a tall blond kid who shot 63. I think it was Johnny Miller. On the other hand, maybe it was Larry Hinson or Fred Marti or Jack Montgomery or Tom Shaw or Bert Greene or Jim Simons. I swear I can't tell one of these kids from another. The only thing I'm real sure of is, it wasn't Chi Chi Rodriguez.

These kids all look alike, swing alike. They all got long legs, long blond hair and look like they were found hanging around the college malt shop. None of 'em look old enough to vote. They weren't born, they were Xeroxed.

They're always going out and shooting 63.

You're not supposed to shoot 63 in a U.S. Open, but Johnny Miller -- if that's who it was -- is too young to know that.

These kids are too young to know U.S. Opens are supposed to be won by Jack Nicklaus. They can't tell the difference between the U.S. Open and the Memphis Open. They don't know there is such a thing as a triple bogey yet.

You know how you are at 26. All your parts are in working order. You never get a bellyache or a self doubt. You can't for the life of you understand why those old gaffers are putting side-saddle or why you stick a bottle of Rolaids in your bag or put your feet in a bucket of hot water at night.

They're always combing their hair. Their slacks fit without a belt. Their bellies are flat. They got all 32 teeth. They can tell the sex of a gnat two fairways away. They have 360-degree swings without hurting their backs. Their tee shots are 300 yards, all carry.

I hate 'em.

Imagine shooting a 63 in a U.S. Open! That's almost like stoning a church, painting mustaches on statues of saints. You're supposed to win an Open with four 71s or three 69s and a 72. Your swing is supposed to choke up as you get near first money. You're supposed to look up at the leaderboard and say, "My God! What am I doing leading a U.S. Open? Where do I come off beating Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer and Lee Trevino and Gary Player?!" Then you're supposed to go out and faint or shank and shoot bogey-bogey-bogey-double bogey.

You're supposed to be 35 years old and have been playing golf since you were 10 and won the National Amateur and 50 other tournaments to win the Open.