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Steve Harvey ONLY IN L.A.

You Never Know Which Violations Will Make Law-Abiding Citizens See Red

June 18, 2003|Steve Harvey

With advancing age, I've become more of a law-and-order guy. Even so, I can't get too steamed up over this perpetrator getting off.

"A resident called to report that a car was parked in the red zone," said the police log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise.

"Police discovered that the car was parked one inch in the red zone and decided not to ticket the car."

Where the sun don't shine: Nancy Stewart of Whittier commented that she really wouldn't want to reach into the area where the cookies are stored in one doggie jar (see accompanying).

Related jobs? While in Gibraltar, Judith Bergquist of Long Beach chanced upon a company that offers a variety of services, though only one involves restoration (see photo).

Holy unthinkable! A colleague pointed out that Batman's sidekick has talents you may not have known about (see accompanying).

Echoes of the Old West: A driver who received a parking ticket in Paramount promised in a letter that if the ticket were dismissed, he'd never visit the city again.

Unusual Home Invasions Dept.: Sonny Messner of Acton sent along a crime log item about a Twentynine Palms woman who said a "very large black tarantula is in her shower and [she] cannot get to her bedroom. Spider arrested and released into the field." After promising never to visit Twentynine Palms again.

The neighbors weren't green with envy: I wrote of the time a panhandler threw away a pair of pants I gave him after three days. That prompted David Macaray to recall a green velour sofa that a relative gave him and his wife early in their marriage.

When they could afford something better, they phoned the Salvation Army to come get it.

"My wife cringed at being seen dragging this beast out of our house and having it sit in our yard, but we had no choice," he said. "Bad as it looked in subdued lighting, it was like some William Burroughs nightmare in bright sunlight."

The Salvation Army didn't take it.

"When we called the office," Macaray said, "we were told that drivers only picked up furniture that had 'a reasonable chance of being resold.' "

In my own defense ... : I should add that not long ago, a man left a message on my office machine asking if he could have some of my old clothes. Well, actually, he said "costumes." I have a hunch he thought I was the actor/comedian Steve Harvey.

miscelLAny: A car with the license plate HYIQBLD whizzed past me on the San Diego Freeway, but I was unable to get a look at the driver. So I don't know if it was a blond genius. Or a bald one.

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Reach Steve Harvey at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 or steve.harvey@latimes.com.

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