For better or worse: marriage by the numbers

True to stereotype, researchers find, women tend to be more sensitive to moods and the ebb and flow of intimacy. In one study, psychologists had a group of graduate students living with a partner tape their conversations at the end of each day. Almost always, the woman tried to prompt conversation, by asking things like, "Anything interesting happen to you today?" or "Who'd you talk to?" or "Tell me what you're thinking." The men tended to go monosyllabic, parrying these attempts with a variety of grunts, "yups" and "nopes." In the work of Gottman and others, moreover, it's clear that very often a little effort on the part of the man can go a long way in improving a marriage.

Which is why, if not exactly bestseller material, "The Mathematics of Marriage" might by its very existence do a service to marriage, namely by showing men that relationships aren't solely the domain of Oprah and Dr. Laura.

"I think it's wonderful they're bringing math into it; it's such a male thing," said Diane Sollee, founder of Smartmarriages.com, a clearinghouse for marriage information and research. "I mean, they might as well have named it, 'Missiles and Marriage.' "