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Steve Harvey ONLY IN L.A.

Purity of Statement Breathes Life Into Candidacy

September 12, 2003|Steve Harvey

In the official voters guide, the shortest campaign statement of any gubernatorial candidate came from Kevin Richter, who described his qualifications this way: "I breathe." Big deal; he's from Northern California. Now if he had sucked in air in Southern California all his life, that would be impressive.

Speaking of pollution: Tom Houston noticed a shop in Duarte that does not test vehicles, despite what its sign indicates (see photo). It sells tobacco.

Houston wondered if perhaps the owner was making "an ironic reference to secondhand smoke" or saluting the origin of the word smog ("smoke" plus "fog"). But a worker there told me it's just a mistake.

Is our society becoming too cynical? I wondered when I read what one application asked Lester Carden of Fullerton to do (see accompanying).

Adventurous Dining Dept.: Gene Doss of Diamond Bar saw a menu that offered what he called "a well lighted egg combination" (see accompanying).

Now it can be told: Cheered the ending of "Seabiscuit," did you? The funny horse and the gutty rider winning the big race, and all that.

Well, Ralph Shaffer, a professor emeritus at Cal Poly Pomona, says it wasn't quite as simple the day he saw the scene being filmed at Santa Anita.

"I was among the crowd of unpaid extras," he said. "They had a hard time getting Seabiscuit to the finish line ahead of the field." In one take, he said, "one of the also-rans bolted and beat Seabiscuit to the wire by many lengths." I suspect the also-ran is finished in Hollywood.

The Case of the Overindulgent Gardener: Laguna Beach police raided an apartment and found 80 4-footers -- all marijuana plants -- as well as one adult human.

"Detectives found no clothing, no refrigerator and nothing to suggest anyone was living in the place," the News-Post said. "Instead, they found marijuana plants in the master bedroom and in its walk-in-closet." Police were summoned by an apartment employee who noticed that water from the illicit nursery was leaking into the floor below.

Hey -- you figure out how to neatly water 80 4-foot plants!

miscelLAny: "A resident reported someone was pounding and banging on her door," the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise reported.

"Police discovered nobody was in the area, and the culprit was a cat that wanted to come in the house." Down kitty!

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.

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