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RECALL MADNESS

Finally, Arnold's talking

September 17, 2003|Roy Rivenburg | Times Staff Writer

From the people who brought you talking action figures of Osama bin Laden, George W. Bush and Iraqi information minister Mohammed Said Sahaf ("There are no infidels in Baghdad. Never!") comes the Governator, a miniature Arnold Schwarzenegger doll. Press the button and it plays a voice chip of the real candidate declaring, "All of the politicians are not anymore making the moves for the people but for special interests, and we have to stop that. ... I will go to Sacramento and I will clean house."

Price: $36. Or, if you prefer the debate-phobic Schwarzenegger, there's a mute version of the doll for $25.

The president of Herobuilders.com says the company has no plans to create other gubernatorial action figures. That's too bad, because we see tremendous potential for a Gray Davis doll. Nine months after it hits the market, Herobuilders could have a product recall for manufacturing defects.

Other action figure possibilities include a Tom McClintock doll that touts its conservative credentials by reenacting the Spanish Inquisition, a Cruz Bustamante doll that stabs the Davis doll in the back and a Mary Carey doll with enough cleavage to conceal a Gary Coleman doll.

Legal maneuvering

Recall groupies have come up with an airtight legal strategy for overturning Monday's court decision to postpone the Oct. 7 election.

They're planning to appeal on the grounds that California voters shouldn't have to listen to five more months of Arianna Huffington.

Quote of the day

From kausfiles.com, commenting on reports that the voting machines that would replace punch-card ballots also have problems and might be subject to lawsuits: "Wow, so we delay the next election too! Gray Davis Forever!"

Late-night blotter

"Gray Davis said he welcomed the court's decision to delay the recall vote. He says using the punch-card machines wouldn't be fair to the people. And he has a point. After all, it was those machines that helped him get elected in the first place." (Jay Leno)

"This is the same court that banned the words 'under God' from the Pledge of Allegiance. First they outlaw God, now they are going after Mr. Universe." (Argus Hamilton)

"Bill Clinton is in town campaigning for Gray Davis. It's already having an effect; 20% more people now think that Gray Davis' marriage is a sham." (Craig Kilborn)

"President Clinton was in Los Angeles over the weekend. I guess he heard J. Lo is single again." (Leno)

Senior advisor: Heather John. "Recall Madness" runs on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays in Calendar. E-mail roy.rivenburg@ latimes.com. Archive: www. latimes.com/recallmadness.

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