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So we're having an election after all? Glad you asked

September 24, 2003|Roy Rivenburg | Times Staff Writer

California's on-again, off-again election is on again. We think. To clear up any confusion, here's another installment of Recall Q&A, in which we answer all your fake questions about the Golden State's gubernatorial sitcom.

Question: Hey, whatever happened with Gray Davis promising to "fight the recall like a Bengal tiger?" Is he still in feline mode or has he shifted to some other critter?

Answer: The tiger strategy was a flop, so Davis has been forced to mimic other animals, including a Komodo dragon, Mr. Ed, one of those flying monkeys from "The Wizard of Oz" and Big Mouth Billy Bass, the singing rubber fish. According to the latest press release from his campaign, Davis is now fighting the recall "like a wildebeest with an enlarged prostate."

Question: Don't you think it was unfair for your Sept. 10 column to say Republican Tom McClintock's campaign slogan should be "Building a Bridge to the 15th Century"?

Answer: You're right, that was a cheap shot at the 15th century.

Question: Which candidate would do the best job of cutting government waste?

Answer: According to Jay Leno, the best choice is sumo wrestler Kurt Rightmyer, who "wants to cut the fat out of the budget so he can eat it."

Question: I'm thoroughly confused about what the latest court ruling means. Will voting take place on Oct. 7 or in March?

Answer: The court did its best to accommodate both sides of the recall battle. Those in favor of giving Gray Davis a pink slip can vote Oct. 7. People who oppose the recall should go to the polls in March.

Quote of the day

From a Reason Online discussion board about candidate Arianna Huffington: "How does A-Huff get off knocking Arnold for driving a Hummer when she racks up hundreds of thousands of dollars flying around the country on a private jet? One trip probably sucks up more fuel than a Hummer burns in a year. Plus we're talking about Arnold here. It's not like he's going to be shoehorning himself into some subcompact hybrid."

Late-night blotter

"This just in: The California Supreme Court has postponed Jennifer Lopez's wedding until March." (David Letterman)

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