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Message received

September 25, 2003

I read Samantha Bonar's "A Dian Fossey-Like Night in the Dating Jungle" (Sept. 11) article with interest, empathy and a little sadness. Essentially, I agree that there are not many situations more unpleasant for a woman than being cornered by a boorish man who just doesn't get it. However, I would like to shed some perspective on her experience. It won't necessarily prevent another occurrence, but perhaps it will help mitigate her sense of outrage.

One of life's little inequities is the eye-brain connection. When we see a pretty girl, our eyes send the same message to our brains, whether we are 25 or 55. In truth, the main difference between a dirty old man and a normal young man is time.

So, Samantha, on behalf of the "silverbacks" of the world, please accept my apology for our sense of entitlement and try not to think so badly of us.

Michael Valente

Laguna Beach

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Does Samantha Bonar actually expect any reader to feel sympathy for her situation? "It's a mystery to me why older men feel entitled to much-younger women."

Let me clear up the "mystery." Countless women in L.A. are obsessed with how much money a man has, what car he drives and his social standing/power. Not all men are born into rich families, so it may take them a couple of decades to finally earn enough money for a woman not to look through them.

Once they reach that level they may not want to date women their age, the same women who looked down their noses at them when they were in their 20s, so they decide to date younger women.

What's wrong with that?

While Miss Bonar can complain about this gentlemen's social skills, clearly she severely lacks social skills. After all, it took a man to advise her to simply tell her older suitor, "Thank you, but I am not interested."

Perhaps the next time Miss Bonar is at a party, someone should offer her some cheese with her whine.

Michael Allen

Los Angeles

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