Character issues

The battle of the mascots began earlier this month in New York City. After posing for TV news crews and listening to former Mayor Ed Koch give pointers on how to kiss babies and shake hands, a herd of mascots -- including Tony the Tiger, Charlie the Tuna, Kool-Aid Man and the Pillsbury Doughboy -- invaded the streets to hustle votes.

Mr. Peanut passed out fliers saying, "At least this candidate freely admits that he's a nut." Miss Chiquita, referring to herself as the "First Lady of Fruit," sang her banana jingle in Japanese and told reporters she was worried about all the chemicals inside rival candidate Mr. Clean. And the Michelin Man suffered a wardrobe malfunction -- his costume deflated -- and was whisked from the scene for repairs.

The mascot election, now underway on the Internet, is being sponsored by the American Assn. of Advertising Agencies as a gimmick to promote its September convention.

The top five vote-getters will be immortalized in concrete on Madison Avenue's new Advertising Walk of Fame. Sadly, the sidewalk markers won't include handprints, an option that would have been amusing if the Jolly Green Giant were a winner.

Some of the mascots are taking the election extremely seriously. Mr. Clean has put together the most elaborate campaign platform. On education, for instance, he supports letting children draw on any surface they want. "If we limit their creativity, there would be no crayon marks on the walls to remove with Mr. Clean Magic Eraser," he explained.

Clean, a muscle-bound Cincinnati native whose little-known first name is Veritably, has also been endorsed by the Care Bears. "A vote for me is a vote for a spot-free future," he said in a telephone interview. He also claimed he could whip the Jolly Green Giant in an arm-wrestling match.

In contrast, McGruff the Crime Dog, like fellow public-service candidates Smokey Bear and the Crash Test Dummies, is running as a single-issue candidate. The trench coat-wearing canine's sole promise is to "take a bite out of crime."