Dimly Shone Their Bulbs
Once again, it's that time of year for reflection and awards. Over the last week, we've seen the annual recounting of the year's highlights as newspapers sifted through the year's events, reminding us of those who excelled in science, the arts, business and philanthropy.
But what about the rest of humanity? Shouldn't we spare a thought, during this period of reflection, for the vast majority of Americans who fumble and fail? As former U.S. Sen. Roman Hruska said of G. Harold Carswell, Richard Nixon's failed nominee to the U.S. Supreme Court, "Even if he is mediocre, there are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. They are entitled to a little representation, aren't they?"
Others have named the best and the brightest; here, we honor the rest. It would be nice to bestow a single Moron of the Year award, but the field is simply too crowded with outstanding nominees. So let us honor and applaud the Moron Top 10 of 2003.
GOV. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
1 It was strange enough when the guv announced that he was conducting an investigation into his sex life after 16 women alleged he had sexually harassed them and the National Enquirer published a story (denied by Schwarzenegger) that he had fathered a child outside of his marriage. But stranger still was his abrupt cancellation of the investigation just weeks after his election, with the explanation, "It's time to move on." That alone would have guaranteed the former bodybuilder a spot on this list. But we also appreciate his eloquence on the thorny issue of gay marriage: "I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman." Thanks for clearing everything up, governor.
JOHN M. POINDEXTER
2 It may have seemed odd to have Poindexter, a retired admiral convicted during the Iran-Contra scandal of making false statements to Congress (the charges were later overturned on a technicality), heading an office named "Total Information Awareness." But what truly distinguished Poindexter was his idea of creating a terrorism futures market, testing his theory that the free market could predict the probability of events like terror attacks. The project -- and Poindexter -- were eventually discarded, but not before the admiral had wangled himself a spot on this list.
HOWARD DEAN
