There are no official rebukes in Navy archives or Kerry's available personnel file. Hoffmann's criticism is also at odds with the glowing evaluations of Kerry in his official Navy record. Only Hibbard's was less than effusive.
"These were all exceptionally good men, and John Kerry was one of them," said former Lt. Cmdr. George Elliot, who gave him top marks.
Elliot nominated Kerry for his Silver Star, but also chided him for beaching his boat, telling Kerry he was uncertain whether he deserved an award or a court-martial. "There was never any question that he was in trouble," Elliot says now. "I just wanted it to be clear that he wasn't supposed to leave the boat."
The same day as the Silver Star beaching, Hoffmann sent Kerry's boat another cable commending the crew's capture of "5 VC males" in a "daring PCF operation [that] will provide an invaluable source of intelligence."
A photograph taken hours after that mission showed a pensive Kerry standing by in a Coast Guard cutter infirmary as a medic treated the gashed leg of a grimacing Vietcong prisoner. Shown the snapshot for the first time on a recent campaign stop in Portland, Ore., Kerry grew somber as he recalled the scene.
"That's the guy whose leg got chopped up by our boat," Kerry said quietly.
PCF-94 and another Swift boat had exchanged fire with two sampans in a night ambush. Five Vietcong suspects plunged into shallow water to escape. Three were hauled up while Kerry and Medeiros waded in the mud, cornering the others at gunpoint.
One wounded Vietcong fighter clung to a row of stakes used for netting fish. In a split-second face-off in a free-fire zone, Kerry said, "you could shoot anything that moved. But we figured, we can't shoot this guy. He's unarmed." They trundled him to a Coast Guard cutter, where Kerry watched while he was treated. "He was a human being. I wanted to make sure he made it," Kerry said.
The whipsawing between compassion and aggressive warfare was taking its toll. Kerry's letters home were grim. George Butler recalled a note about the "beauty of the land and what a violation the war had become. He was clearly depressed about what he was doing."
Kerry said nothing to Hoffmann, confiding only to officers he trusted. Barker said he harped repeatedly on "all the endangerment we faced for diminutive returns." Adrian Lonsdale, a Coast Guard commander at An Thoi, recalled "wide-ranging discussions" -- but he complained that Kerry exaggerated the details of their talks in "Tour of Duty," an authorized history of his Vietnam War days.
