Cabinet Secretary Makes Good

In truth, I hardly know Dan Glickman at all. But let's keep that to ourselves, shall we? If Glickman sends me a photo of himself, or even better a photo of the two of us shaking hands autographed to his best friend me with thanks for all my help, I will frame it on my office wall. Signed photos like this of politicians have long been the standard decor of lawyers' and lobbyists' offices in Washington. It is only fitting now that people should start hanging pictures of lobbyists in their offices, implying that they know Dan Glickman better than they really do.

While the world waited for the sight of white smoke rising from the MPAA offices, indicating that the Cardinals of Cinema had made their choice, some Republicans threatened dire consequences if the MPAA anointed a Democrat. Then they had a public hissy fit when the movie producers went and did just that. This is a huge setback for the so-called "K Street Project," started by House Republican leader Tom DeLay, run by Republican operative Grover Norquist and dedicated to securing plum lobbying jobs for the GOP.

This too is something new, or at least the reductio-ad-absurdum of a long-term trend. Traditionally, lobbyists are supposed to importune politicians. Politicians are not supposed to importune lobbyists. Of course, one of the fringe benefits of being the ruling party is supposed to be lucrative lobbying jobs for your elected officials and their loyal aides to ease into after hard years of public service. But for pity's sake, you don't come right out and demand that. Heavens, DeLay, where is your couth?

Norquist told the Washington Post that the MPAA's choice of Glickman was "a studied insult," and that the movie industry's "ability to work with the House and Senate is greatly reduced" as a result.

This kind of talk -- indeed, the entire K Street Project -- gives the game away a bit more than is absolutely necessary. After all, if you say you won't be influenced by lobbyists if they don't hire your people, and you say it menacingly, you are more or less promising that you will be influenced by lobbyists if they do hire your people. Even lobbyists can't be happy at this overly frank admission of how it works.

But let these Republican mewlings not detract from the majesty and historical significance of the past week. Let the word go forth: The torch has been passed to a new generation of movie industry lobbyists. The MPAA will pay any price (specifically, $1.5 million, which is Glickman's reported salary) and bear any burden to protect its interests in Washington. It will never negotiate with Congress out of fear, but it will never fear to negotiate. Ask not what the major film studios can do for you. Ask what you can do for the major film studios.

As for Jack Valenti, he will be spending his time and copious energy raising money for the fight against AIDS around the world. What a comedown.