Well, Ben Affleck had his chance -- twice. At the annual Razzie Awards, honoring the poorest work in Hollywood, Affleck was voted Worst Actor for his performance in the critically unacclaimed "Gigli" earlier this year.
For some reason -- prior commitments, no doubt -- Affleck did not attend the ceremonies in Santa Monica and later complained that he had never received his Razzie.
So, Razzie founder John Wilson arranged for Larry King to present it to Affleck on his TV show. The actor, however, commented on how "cheap" the (authentic) plaster icon looked and chose not to walk off with it.
So Wilson put it up for sale on EBay, though not before setting a firm floor price of $4.89. Incredibly, more than 50 people bid for the thing, and it sold for $1,375.
Commented Wilson: "Basically, Mr. Affleck paid for our hall rental for next year's awards ceremonies."
Now just a second! When the Lakers' Derek Fisher caught an out-of-bounds pass and scored with four-tenths of a second left to play to defeat San Antonio, some non-Laker rooters questioned whether it was possible to launch a shot in such a span.
But Paul Kikuchi and Maida Wong chanced upon an ad whose misplaced decimal point makes it appear that Fisher has an incredibly quick release (see photo).
Hot tip: Paul Williams noticed a warning for drivers (see photo) "in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park on the Big Island, where there is an active lava flow. I guess it would come under the category of 'No Kidding.' "
Unclear on the concept: Norm Sklarewitz of West Hollywood, meanwhile, pulled into a parking lot in the Fairfax area, but after reading the sign (see photo) decided he'd better not get out of his car and saw no recourse but to pull out of the lot.
Sounds like: On an Internet site, Kit Hope of Garden Grove spotted a message that said: "Subject: WANTED - BIRD CAGE ... needed for small conjure parrot." A magician's partner? Actually, Hope checked and it's a Conyer parrot.
Annals of strange crimes: David Chan forwarded this from the Hollywood Independent: "At 11:50 p.m. along La Brea Avenue and Sunset Boulevard, female suspect threw a Slurpee in the victim's direction and missed."
miscelLAny: Although the Ben Affleck Razzie matter is settled, there's been no word from the winner of the Worst Actress award on whether she'd like to see her Razzie. That would be Jennifer Lopez, who co-starred with Affleck in "Gigli" and, once, in life.
Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.