The Bleep That Never Was
This is Sandra Tsing Loh with "The Loh Life," no longer on KCRW. So let's get down to brass tacks. What did I say, in my now-infamous three-minute radio commentary last week, that got me fired? I know the news story may have flown by you -- "FCC violation," "Loh fired," "KCRW endangered," "federal statutes on indecent language." "Whatever," you say.
Bottom line, you want to see the breast. You want to see -- Janet Jackson's breast. Even if it's pixilated. So here goes. Below is the text I recorded -- and left a hard copy of -- with my KCRW engineer to edit, which he faithfully remembered to do, except for one small item.
Now I will admit, upfront, that alluding to relations with my husband on the air is unusual for me. At 42, a tired mother of two, I'm the sort of public radio commentator who was, at the time of my being fired for indecency, in the middle of a five-part series not on the joy of sex but on the joy of knitting. However, having just seen Bette Midler's new show, still rollicking from her irrepressible vaudeville joke rhythms, I felt a well-placed comic bleep would be an appropriately bawdy (for public radio) homage.
SHE'S THE BETTE
My husband, my soul mate, my ROOMMATE of 15 years -- he sleeps LATE, doesn't LISTEN, moves my STUFF around. . . But he DOES play guitar for Bette Midler on her MASSIVE new STAGE show -- there are TIMES when he STANDS within five FEET of her!. . . so I guess I have to [the bleep should have gone here] him. Because you know what? It's finally DAWNED on me, this tour, that Bette Midler
I go on to say Bette is fabulous, ageless, divine, literally the living godhead who walks among us. (And thin. "Never more gorgeous!" we were kvelling in the Staples bathroom. And that was the women's!)
I imagine Ms. Midler herself might have enjoyed hearing my paean, but now she never will and nor will you because not only is it not archived on the KCRW website, there's no record there that my show ever existed. Not even a vaguely worded "Technical Difficulties/Away on Assignment/Cosmic Gone Fishing" sign. At KCRW.com, it's eerie how quickly the Internet hole has closed over "The Loh Life," its glassy surface scattered with a cheerful potpourri of fresh music picks. And I was on for six years! Isn't it a marvel what they can do with the touch of a computer button nowadays? Sometimes?
