As the fortune cookie crumbles
BELIEVE IT: The fortune cookie was invented in California. San Francisco claims it, but Smithsonian magazine credits it to an L.A. noodle maker, and I'm not going to contradict Washington, not in this political climate.
Believe this too: I laughed at those paper homilies until I got this one at the Far East Cafe, a Chinese restaurant in Little Tokyo: "Something green is heading your way." On my way back to the office, I almost got hit by a green van.
I'd like to think that any number of Californians would have been better off if they'd only paid attention to those little slips of post-prandial paper. See whether you can match the fortune to the foolish.
1. "Popularity is like a soap bubble -- try to grab it with both hands, and it blows up in your face."
2. "Beware of people who offer to pay you to do what you'd do for nothing."
3. "A politician is a man who tries to save both faces."
4. "After a trying year, stick close to home and hearth."
5. "White is not your best color."
6. "When you install a lightning rod, be careful that you don't get struck yourself."
7. "Big things are moving in your direction."
8. "Don't give up your day job."
9. "Be kind to animals, or your unkindness will come back to bite you."
10. "A man who abandons the land of the giants for the realm of the stars is one smart cookie."
11. "One grain of sand makes a pearl, which one woman can enjoy. A million grains make a beach, which many men and women can enjoy."
12. "When it comes to job security, jump before you get pushed."
13. "Home isn't always where the heart is."
A. Michael Jackson, who after acquittals on felony charges of child molestation, boogied off to set up housekeeping in the kingdom of Bahrain while his own financial realm was in danger of sinking in red ink.
B. Cindy Sheehan, the Vacaville woman whose son Casey was killed in Iraq. Her war protests made her a reviled and revered mater dolorosa.
C. The Rev. Lou Sheldon, who heads the Orange County-based Traditional Values Coalition, which, according to the Washington Post, got $25,000 from indicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff for crusading against gambling and unwittingly taking part in Abramoff's scheme to defeat an anti-gambling measure that would have hurt Abramoff's pro-gambling clients. Yeah, it's complicated.
