To Love, Honor and Belly-Scratch

In a vet's office in Brentwood, a wife sits with her divorce lawyer and her husband sits with his, both of them waiting in opposite corners of the room for a Pomeranian we'll call Lemons, the pet they bought together when they were happily married. Today, now split, they're here to settle who gets Lemons. Her case is that she fed the dog, but he insists he walked it. As with most everything else in this marital meltdown, the dog has become a bone of contention.

As the vet brings Lemons in, both wife and husband spring to life, both of them calling and patting their knees. "Here girl! Come on Lemons!" The poor creature looks confused for a moment. Then he bounds over to the wife. It's settled--Lemons apparently has a greater emotional bond with her. Such is the force of these calling contests that ultimately, in an out-of-court settlement two months later, she will be awarded full custody of the dog. In return she will compensate her ex with $1,200.

"These things are a big deal," says the wife's attorney, J. Michael Kelly of Santa Monica. "First you need a neutral ground, like a vet's office--not the regular vet, though. Beach is good. You could go to a park as long as there aren't too many other dogs around--you don't want [the dog] to be distracted. For a couple of days beforehand, it has to stay with a third party so that nobody has an unfair advantage, which you would if you fed the dog that morning. But you still have to be careful. People always try things. They rub their hands with sausage so the dog will come to them. That's why you need the vet there, to check their hands."

That couple certainly isn't the only one warring over a pet these days. A combination of a vigorous divorce industry and an equally vibrant pet industry--spending on pet products and services was expected to hit a record $34.3 billion last year--has led to a dramatic increase in pet custody disputes during the last decade. Though accurate figures have yet to be compiled in this fledgling field, one attorney and legal scholar believes there has been a hundredfold increase in the frequency of these cases since 1990.

The lengths to which couples will go for their pets knows no limit. Smearing sausage on your hands is only the beginning. Kelly has dealt with cases in which dogs are traded in divorce settlements for sums of up to $30,000. "I've seen animals traded for jewelry, for part of a pension plan, for a fraction of the cost of a house," he says.