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Six Jokes

October 02, 2005

A peace march descended on Washington seeking to crystallize America's dissatisfaction with the war: "Peace!" Yes! "Justice!" Yes! "Environmental protection!" Heh? "No racism!" Well, that goes without saying. Dude, I didn't hitchhike from Oberlin for this.

- JON STEWART

*

Rev. Jesse Jackson told the crowd, "America, the whole world is watching." Um, Reverend, with all due respect: You're on C-SPAN. Not even America is watching.

- STEWART

*

A right-wing counterprotest

the next day was 99.6% smaller: 400 people. Organizers had been expecting 20,000, so apparently there was some kind of miscalculation by people on the right concerning the number of people it would take to accomplish the mission. To be fair, they did greet each other as liberators.

- STEWART

*

Remember when Republicans like Bob Livingston would get in trouble for sex scandals? Tom DeLay is in trouble over money. Or as Republicans call it, a return to traditional values.

- JAY LENO

*

John Kerry said

he was never clear about where John Roberts stood on the issues, and he's not voting for him. That's the same reason Roberts didn't vote for Kerry.

- LENO

*

President Bush hinted that his next choice for the Supreme Court could be a minority. The president said, "It could be a Latino or it could be a Chinese-o."

- CONAN O'BRIEN

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