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When Harry met George

October 13, 2005|John Kenney | JOHN KENNEY is a humorist who has just finished his first novel.

"`You are the best governor ever -- deserving of great respect,' Harriet Miers wrote to George W. Bush days after his 51st birthday in July 1997.... Ms. Miers, President Bush's selection for a Supreme Court seat, emerges as an unabashed fan in more than 2,000 pages of official correspondence." The New York Times

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December 29, 1997

Hi!

So great seeing you and Laura at the Christmas party. Christmas is my favorite holiday. What's yours? Because if it's something else that will be my new favorite too! Ha-ha. But seriously, it will. I love you. As a friend.

Harry (but I'm a girl)

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January 30, 1998

Hello again George and Laura,

Just a quick note as I make my way to the supermarket (aren't groceries great?!). And also to say that I'm STILL thinking about how I saw you both at Christmas and how great that was for me (and you?).

Your biggest fan, for George, I mean, less so for Laura!

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July 9, 1999

I was reading a biography of Winston Churchill and was fascinated to learn that he was born to a father of privilege and power and wealth and that he wrote "A History of the English-Speaking Peoples" before he was 30 and traveled the world and was a decorated soldier and a painter and an architect and an orator, and I immediately thought of you and also of how fun it would be to have a cookout! Texas and the world is (are?) lucky to have you at the helm! Wouldn't it be neat to be on the Supreme Court? Me, I mean. I'm working out more and hope you find me attractive.

Most very fondly,

Harriet! (which is how I'm signing my name now)

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October 9, 2000

Hi G. and L.,

It's Thursday (again!). I just wanted to say what great fun it was seeing both of you from outside your home with a high-powered Army Ranger-issue telescopic sight. You both look marvelous nude! Also, I heard that an appointment to the Supreme Court includes lifelong medical and dental. I wonder if parking is included (maybe too much to ask for!). I like the Internet. It's a fun way to meet new friends. Without you my life would be meaningless and I would commit suicide. Good times ahead!

Your "Supreme" pal,

Harry (NOT Belafonte!)

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March 24, 2002

Just a quick note to say hi and to tell you that today, at the office, I walked to the supply closet because I needed pens and a pad of paper and I got them and then I stood there and smelled the smells of papers and pens and erasers and markers and it smelled clean and like grade school and I started to cry and I wanted you to know. Also, I love wearing a robe. How are you?

Hello to your lovely wife, Laura, who I wish I was!

Harriey (trying a new spelling!! What do you think?!)

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November 30, 2002

Let us give thanks to the Indians and the Pilgrims (SO brave!) and to the turkey, for giving his life and for gravy. Do you know that you amaze me? Why are people so negative? Take Columbine. Yes, there was death. But on the bright side, these boys were EXCELLENT marksmen! I would KILL for a photo of you in a jumpsuit! Seriously! People say that I am a good judge in disputes. Isn't that interesting?

Hugs in a friend kind of way,

H.

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December 29, 2004

Why would it be wrong to carve Jesus into Mt. Rushmore? Sometimes when I listen to music by the Rolling Stones it makes me feel dirty, but not in a bad way. Do you know what I mean? I play air drums sometimes. Do you? I wonder if, say, I was a Supreme Court justice would I daydream during a lawyer's arguments and then, after he or she finished, say something like, "That was really interesting. But did you know that I'm naked under this robe?" I bet he or she would be surprised and thrown off. I wouldn't do that though. I just thought it would be funny to write to you and say that. If I knew that tomorrow were the end of the world I would want to spend it with you and Laura, but mostly you, who are amazing. Wasn't Tab a great drink?

Most fondly,

Harrie

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