Once, I caught her using a swear word in a message and grounded her from MySpace for two weeks.
Another time, I asked her to delete song lyrics and other material that I considered offensive from her page. (She said she just liked the beat, but I didn't like the references to getting drunk, rape and "blowin' up the neighborhood.")
But for the most part she was being responsible. "Maybe this is going to work," I thought.
*
In late February, about two months after we made our pact, I logged onto Taylor's account one morning to look it over. As I scrolled down, some new photographs caught my eye.
I froze.
For some reason, Taylor had posted shots of herself and two other girls giving a one-fingered salute.
I couldn't believe that she would post the photos knowing that I was looking over her shoulder. What was she thinking?
This is what she was thinking, Taylor said:
\o7"I was like, 'Should I do this? I don't know.' But I thought you wouldn't care because I didn't say anything on them. They were just pictures. And [the two other girls] already had them up on their pages."
\f7I printed out the offending photos and confronted Taylor with them. I showed her the contract and asked her to read it. Then I told her I was shutting down her account because she had broken the rules.
She didn't take it well. She cried and pleaded for one more chance. I braced myself for the onslaught and said no.
She pleaded some more. I struggled to stay calm and resolute. After a few minutes of arguing, Taylor gave up. Her anguished reaction, before stomping into her bedroom and slamming her door, went something like this:
\o7"You've ruined my life!'
\f7Later, we talked about what happened. Taylor knew she had blown it and was as angry at herself as she was at me. I encouraged her to join the yearbook staff at her junior high school to practice her newfound design and photography skills.
If she showed more maturity, I told her, she could reopen her MySpace account when she turned 14 next March. That minimum age requirement was making a lot of sense to me.
Taylor listened and accepted her fate. She had just one question.
\o7"Can I get my cellphone a little earlier?"
\f7*
Sharing MySpace did not magically transform my relationship with Taylor. She still circles me like an alpha dog, and we still fight like cats.
But it did, for a brief time, provide me with a reassuring glimpse of the curious and smart girl I know so well. It reminded me that once we get past the storms of adolescence, that person will still be there.
With her usual bluntness, Taylor said her lesson was simpler:
\o7"You're still a cool mom -- but not THAT cool."
\f7Or perhaps even that powerful.\o7
\f7In the 24 hours before her MySpace account went dormant, Taylor received one last helpful e-mail from a friend:
"U know u can just make another one but have a different name," wrote the girl. "That's what I did."
Catherine Saillant and her daughter, Taylor, discuss their MySpace experience at 2:30 p.m. today on Weekend America, KPCC-FM (89.3).
\o7
\f7
